WHY SHOULD I BE THE FIRST ONE TO CHANGE?

If I could have a dollar for every time someone has said these words to me, I could be a rich woman, well at least be wearing Prada.

Why should I be the first one to change? Well honey, usually you are the only one who notices that there needs to be change! The real question is "Am I going to be the one who is willing to change?"

This week we celebrate our 26th Wedding Anniversary and I always reflect this week on how God has been so faithful in our marriage and what He has done with us as a couple.

When people find out that we had a three year period of separation in our marriage and it really looked like we were never going to see eye to eye on anything, let alone get back together, they often share with me that they are frustrated that they are the only ones who can see that their marriage is in trouble and "Why do they have to make the first move?", I don't usually tell them that they are probably going to have do the second, third and fourth moves as well.

But the truth is , Marriage like any other relationship takes work, and I want to encourage you to take the first step to start turning this into a healthy relationship. Most of us want a marriage that we can enjoy but instead we have something that we have to endure.

If you are the one who knows that change needs to happen, then have the courage to seek help,
there are courses, books, counsellors and even friends who we can turn to.

Our marriages are meant to be enjoyed, not endured or injured.

Have a great day.
Nelsa x

TAKING TIME OUT.

I like to take time out every day to do some quiet reading, something that renews my Spirit, that fills me up to be able to pour out something of value and encouragement to those around me,these days it is easy for me to do that as my family have grown to an age and stage that I

get time to do this but it hasn't always been that way.


I remember clearly when the kids were little, 1,3,5,7,9, and I had to make the most of the time that I had, to use the gaps during the day or create some so that I was getting that time for me.


The most effective way I found to do that was to make sure that the things that I wanted to do/read etc, were all in the one place because if I had to run around looking for them and gathering them from a few different places, then that was taking up all the precious time I had and the moment was gone. I got a basket that I liked and put in it my Bible, pen, paper, cards, stamps, book, hand cream, anything that helped me to be organised for that quiet time.


Having the basket meant that when there was opportunities to go outside and watch the kids playing I could take that with me and I could grab some reading time then.


Sometimes I hear Mums says that they are too busy, that they can't find time to do the things that matter like this but we all have 24 hours in our day, we need to use them wisely, we need to know how to fill ourselves up and encourage ourselves as well, otherwise we can find ourselves crawling through the day flitting from job to job and place to place and running on empty.


For me, I needed to start my day before my children woke, to gather myself together and remember what silence was like, ah beautiful silence, I remember you, haha.

Some days you just gotta throw away the basket, grab a girlfriend and enjoy some different time.

Lets do ourselves a big favour and look after ourselves.


Have a great weekend. Drink Coffee, Eat Chocolate!
Love Nelsa.

SHE ARISES EARLY....

She arises early in the morning and prepares breakfast for her household.......
She plans the days work for her servant girls....
She goes to inspect a field and buy it.....
She is energetic and strong and a hard worker.....

Now, I would love to say that is exactly why I found myself up at 5am this morning but the truth is I woke to the rain bucketing down outside and my husband asking me where his work pants were!

Ah, Organisation, will either be our friend or our foe.

Today it was my friend, never more happy to tell him that his pants were safely in the dryer where I put them the night before, I waved him off happy (from my bed) and thought 'phew, that was a close call'.

The years of having a big family have taught me that there are somethings, that while they may
not come naturally, need to be developed and organisation was one of them.

Being organised , this is slowly becoming a strength, for me who loves to be spontaneous with life, when I am organised in my home and my head then I have the flexibility to be spontaneous as well and my life doesn't need to become unravelled because of it.

No longer living in Chaos ( Can't have anyone over syndrome), I can relax today and enjoy lunch with my beautiful friend and young Mum when she arrives.

You were a brave woman who opened todays blog with that title!
Enjoy your day.

ARE WE BEING NICE?

I was reading just the other day that we speak to ourselves at a rate of 1300 words per minute!
Wow, thats pretty impressive but no wonder we can get exhausted , my mind boggles wondering if this is every minute of every day or do we sometimes give ourselves a break or sometimes do we accelerate to 1500 words per minute!

So, what are we saying to ourselves that we need to say so much? Are we being nice?
If we are at a good place in our life and all is going well, we may be telling ourselves some quite nice things like...
* Way to go girlfriend, you're doing well.
* My goodness, your butt does look good in those jeans.
* Your house looks fantastic!

but chances are you maybe at some stage in your life where you are feeling a bit broken and hurt and you could be telling yourself some very different things like...
* You will never amount to anything.
* The house looks trashed.
* You should know better.

Before long these thoughts can turn to really harmful if we are not careful to make a decision to be nicer to ourselves, I had struggled with guilt and condemnation with my self talk for years until I made a decision that instead of listening to myself, I was going to start talking to myself and being nice , sometimes we need to challenge our attitudes, thoughts and habits.
Try it! You'll love yourself for it.

HALLELUJAH , (shrek song)

Today was a chill out day for me and I wanted to share this version of Hallelujah with you.

Check out these 4 Norwegian guys! Beautiful, not the guys, the composition!

Hope you've had a great day.

LITTLE THINGS.

Our lives can be so busy and so full and we can constantly stress about not getting all the big things in our schedule done and then every now and then we can have a light bulb moment that reminds us that we are the ones who put things on our "to do" list, we are the ones who put our

schedules together, we are the ones who make the choices to fill our lives up with the things we do every day.

Does that mean that we are the ones who load ourselves up with this busyness, this craziness, that can sometimes lead to discontent, dissatisfaction and sometimes even burn-out.

The good news is that while we often are the ones who have loaded ourselves up with too much to do in so little time, we are also the ones that can make another choice for ourselves so that our lives become much more balanced and we even realise that not only does the world not fall apart when we stop doing all these extra things, it doesn't even slow down and stop, our world continues to work without us stressing and even works better for us.


When things get too busy for me, I have learned to stop and take stock of where my life is headed and whether the things that matter to me the most are getting done. For each of us it
will be different, but for me, I need to make sure all the little things are being done, the housework, spending time with my family, meals on the table, my study assignments and doing
things to bless my family.


I made this cake a couple of days ago and took a photo to remind me that this is a little thing that matters at this time, and to remind my family that I did bake this year!

The little things are important and often get pushed aside but I find if I take care of the little things, the big things just fall into place.

IN CONTROL

Every now and then I like to know that everything is in control in my world and even that I can control parts of it, haha as if.

Last week I was walking alongside a lake and saw groups of ducks all doing their own thing and I said 'You know what God, I want all my ducks in a row, I want to know that everything is in its place and going to work out great before I step out and do anything" and there are times when
God sees my insecurities and has a joke with me to show me He sees what bothers me but also
to remind me that HE is in control,not me.

This was one of those times because as soon as the words came out of my mouth, these three ducks hopped off their log and started forming a row, haha, this seemingly was the only ducks in a row that I was going to get but it still makes me smile today and I get the point that I am not in control and the future is not going to be mine to see.

I had a similar conversation a few days ago with someone else and they said that they only wanted one duck to be in a row, I laughed and said "Well all your ducks are in a row then", haha
I think they are in a worse place than me, their ducks are in a row and they don't even know it.

I watched for a bit longer and saw I could learn a lot more from the ducks, some of them were basking in the sun, some were staying in shallow waters, some were hiding in the weeds at the edge of the lake and others were standing on the banks looking down into the water as if to want to test it, still others were preening themselves in the middle of the lake splashing water everywhere, a group of them were squawking together flapping their wings about but one duck stood out, it was flying up and down the lake, sometimes high and sometimes low but always up above the rest and it seemed to be effortless, much the same way it is for me when I remember that God is in control and not me.

Ducks are just Ducks, and as far as I can tell, they don't have any trust issues! haha.

Have a great weekend.

Love Nelsa

LIFE SUPPORT

Yesterday I got a lot of feedback from people who are struggling through their hard times and it got me thinking about our support systems and what we have in place in our lives to help us manage the more treacherous waters we can find ourselves in.

NASA often uses the phrase Environmental Control and Life Support System or the acronym ECLSS when describing their systems for its human spaceflight missions. The life support system they use may supply air, water and food, it also maintains correct body temperature, an acceptable pressure on the body and shields against harmful external influences entering your space.

Now while most of us aren't going to be astronauts in the near future,during the hard times we can feel like we are floating around on a different planet and have no idea where to turn to next and a lot of us don't have our own Life Support System in place or what that would even look like for us. What we do know is that at times we mismanage the pressure and harmful influences that enter our own space.

Like NASA, first we have to recognise that we have a need for the support, the hard times we face are different for each of us, grief, loss, trauma, crisis, they can all come in different forms, job loss, job disatisfaction, death, teenage years, sick children, unresolved issues that keep returning, we all have experienced some hard times that we needed support in.

Friends we can trust can be a great start for our personal supports, let them in to share your life, we need friends to both laugh and cry with and to make it through this season in life. I am so thankful for the friends I have surrounding me through this journey.

Have a great day, looking forward to hearing from you.
Nelsa

HARD TIMES.

Today I wanted to share something that I have been pondering for a couple of weeks, and thats making the best out of a hard situation.
We have all had our fair share of difficult times, times where its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, where the going is so tough that we want to sit down and cry and not get up again, and then we hear that phrase 'the tough times are when you grow', well I've seen plenty of people go through hard times and it hasn't done them any good and I've had a couple of my own where I have thought that I could have done much better than I did.

And then I realised that its not the hard times that make you grow, its deciding in your heart to be a student of them and not a victim, its resolving to honor God and not compromise on your values and who you are, its about respecting yourself and taking the time to look after yourself in amongst the chaos and know that this time will pass, another new day is coming.

Today is the beginning of my new blog, usually I have quite a lot to say but tonight I find myself
without words. Don't worry it won't last long, tomorrow I'm sure I'll find something weird and wonderful to share with you.
For now I'm just feeling pleased with myself that I learned how to do this!

Nelsa x